I have a nickname known to a few persons at work; SB. Not BS as in bullshit if that's what some of you are thinking, as i am literally and mentally quite full of shit sometimes.
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SB = Social Butterfly.
Deep inside my heart, i know for certain i am a very shy person and display social awkwardness in unfamiliar environment. I am frank about it but sadly, no one actually believes me.
Now, there is an article (a confession page in fact) floating on social media recently that more or less confirm i am an introvert; read further for the details!
I hate the stigma attached to the word “introvert.”
[Original Text] That means a weird, socially awkward person we all want to avoid. To me, an “introvert” is someone who is selective about whom they surround themselves with. It’s someone who is comfortable with being by themselves without feeling insecure. We value quality over quantity.
[Cavin's Input] No, i don't hate the word and am alright with the stigma. The definition of introvert has been sculpted over a long period of time and is accepted by a majority. Just because i think otherwise doesn't mean i am correct.
I love meeting new people, but only if you approach me first.
[Original Text] If I have to make the first move, it’ll most likely never happen. I’m silently imagining every possible thing that could go wrong and by the time I work up enough courage to do it, I’ve thoroughly freaked you out by constantly glancing your way and you’ve already sprinted for the door.
[Cavin's Input] This so describes me; making the first move is a huge hurdle to cross. I would wonder on the possibilities if you are keen to talk to me, maybe you are more interested in the guy behind me, what if i ask a question and you give a one-word reply etc etc etc.
Small Talk for me is not Small Talk to a normal person.
[Original Text] I get deep real fast. I genuinely want to know your life story, what makes you happy, and what makes you angry. Don’t be surprised if I ask you how you really feel about your parents’ divorce within the first 5 minutes of meeting you. I’m not a gossip; I just genuinely want to connect with you.
[Cavin's Input] I attributed this to my curious nature! Yes, the connectivity part is part of the reason as well but i guess nosiness can take up a major proportion.
We have a heightened sense for a fake or insincere personality.
[Original Text] Our quiet and reserved nature allows us so much time to observe. I see your fake smile and can tell you just lied to that person. I hear you repeat the same exact joke to every single person you run into. I’m onto you, extrovert.
[Cavin's Input] I am quite insensitive in this aspect even though I used to question people's motives. Eventually, I get to this juncture where I figure it is pointless to read too deep as humans are far too complicated and it doesn't help to think too much. Just maintain sincerity when dealing with people; when proven wrong by scheming, backstabbing bitches and bastards, learn from it. Period.
5. If you point out my introverted-ness, I will silently hold it against you forever and also I probably hate you.
[Original Text] As much as we try to embrace our introverted-ness, many of us are still very insecure about it. You asking an introvert why they’re so quiet only make things worse. Please stop making us all feel so awkward with this obvious observation.
[Cavin's Input] Not me, once you point out i am an introvert, i would try my best to get out of my uneasiness and be extremely talkative! So much so that you would wish i keep my mouth shut.
6. Dear Hair Dresser: Please don’t make me talk the entire time I’m in your chair.
[Original Text] I’m sure you’re a very nice and interesting person, but after a certain point, I simply run out of things to talk to you about. I’m out of witty comments. I can’t think of any more normal questions to ask you. And my stupid comments will begin to emerge (see #9).
[Cavin's Input] On one hand, i agree with the above. On the other hand, it's strange to have absolutely no conversation. My hairdresser could bloody well be cutting hair from a mannequin. And makes some mistakes along the way!
7. My ideal Friday night is Netflix binging with ONE or TWO friends.
[Original Text] I don’t want to be alone, but I also don’t want to exhaust myself by socializing with dozens of other people. Can’t we just throw on some sweatpants, make an ice cream run, and sit on the couch?
[Cavin's Input] Given my participation in the inseparable gang of four, i would go with the magic number of THREE friends but that's more for overseas trips. For local excursions, the more the merrier so long everyone in the group knows everyone.
8. Please never make me to go a club.
[Original Text] What is clubbing even? Why would we go somewhere where it’s so loud I can’t even hear you? I’ll be in the quiet corner trying to engage in meaningful conversation with the other introverts if you need me.
[Cavin's Input] In addition to the deafening noise, i can't even hold my liquor and it is so weird (not to mention uncool) to have a person drinking milk in a club. A friend did suggest coke as a better alternative, given its similarity to Jack Daniels. Oh well, i prefer a noisy hawker centre over a noisy club.
9. Networking events = death.
[Original Text] There is literally nothing I hate more than having to meet new people in an environment specifically created for that purpose. I realize that’s entirely the point of networking events, but I feel so much pressure to make myself sound and look like the most interesting person you’ve ever met. I can only be charming for so long! Pass me a glass of wine and let me mentally prepare myself for this first.
[Cavin's Input] This is so ME! Since i don't drink, i would simply sit like a stiff piece of rock that has no idea how to start the conversation without asking stupid questions that i would slap myself two seconds after.
10. If I say something stupid, kindly pretend I said nothing at all.
[Original Text] Rest assured knowing that my dumb comment/question will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ll lie awake at night replaying the entire conversation in my head. I’ll think of a million other things I could have said instead. I’ll vow never to speak again! This is where my quietness comes from. It’s a vicious cycle.
[Cavin's Input] *nods head* in reference with my personal observation for point 9, i would actually run through the day events when i am on my bed and wonder if the awkward situation could be avoided. At times, insomnia sets in. :(
Adapted from the original article with my own personal inputs@ http://thoughtcatalog.com/laitin-amanda/2014/02/10-confessions-from-an-introvert/